productivity – Bittersweet Nugget

A few days into my current social media cutback, a notification flashed on my phone announcing that my screen time was down by 16 percent. I’m hoping next week will show an even further decline, as I continue to curb my mindless scrolling.

I’ve written about my complicated relationship with social media before, and this probably won’t be the last time. Here are a few ways that my social media consumption is getting under my skin lately:

For me, social media provides ongoing evidence that “comparison is the thief of joy” (a quote attributed to Teddy Roosevelt.) As I scroll through Facebook and other platforms, I feel as if I’m not doing enough in my life and I’m not posting enough online. How do these folks do so much every day and have the time to write about it? I must be doing something wrong, or maybe I’m just plain lazy.

On Instagram, I can’t help but watch many of the “suggested reels” the platform serves up. Somehow, Instagram knows that I am a sucker for watching videos of supermodels walking in fashion shows, before/after shots of women with and without makeup, and celebrity cosmetic surgery transformations. (I can’t believe I am telling you this.) Why am I mesmerized by this stuff?

I’ve started feeling more than a bit disturbed about the path we are headed down, where more and more of our lives’ moments are photographed and posted online. I’m guilty of this, too, and I worry about the long-term effects of living with this camera and potential audience in our mind. How will this behavior affect us long-term as individuals and our society as a whole? (I may have to do a whole other post about how when I searched for an image to go with this piece, only women were shown taking selfies.)

As a self-published author with a book to promote, I fear that I’m not using my social media accounts in the most effective way. I stopped posting on TikTok because I kept hearing that authors need to post three or more times a day, and there’s no way I’m going to make that happen. But then I’m also concerned that the time I spend on social media is distracting me from finishing my second book. Is there any way to get this balance right?

I still believe there is much to be gained from interacting with social media. It allows me to stay in contact with people from my past and even my present who I rarely (if ever) see in person. Over the past year and a half, I’ve used social media to learn how to self-publish my memoir, and in the process, I’ve met other authors from around the world. I’ve even done podcast interviews with shows produced in the UK and South Africa.

When utilized as a tool, social media works for me. But when used as a form of endless entertainment or as a way to avoid doing the next thing on my To-Do list, it leaves me feeling empty and anxious. It is a ruthless time killer and soul suck.

So here I am, yet again, taking some time off from social media. For the month of December, I’m trying to significantly reduce the number of times I pick up my phone just to see what folks are posting. I may visit specific accounts in an intentional way to gain information, but the scroll, scroll, scroll is on the back burner. I’ve found that I like posting in my stories every day, but I’m going to experiment with sharing mostly original content instead of posts I’ve found through scrolling.

Then, in January and February, I’m going to buckle down and finish my second book. During that period, I’ll limit my social media time to posting updates about this forthcoming book and whatever else feels critical.

Every time I do one of these cleanses or reboots or whatever you want to call them, the benefits are undeniable. I always say that, who knows, maybe one day I will just leave social media altogether. It hasn’t happened yet, and as an author who hopes to build a dedicated readership, it’s hard to walk away. But the least I can do is develop a more thoughtful approach to how I spend my time on screens—especially that little one that fits all too easily in my hand.

During Thanksgiving week, I took seven days off from social media, television, and podcasts. I’ve unplugged from media before with fruitful results. This round was prompted by Jocelyn K. Glei’s course RESET. Glei suggests taking a break from “inputs that play a huge role in the life of your mind” in order to “open up space for new ideas to flow.”

I’ve been writing a book, so I was eager to see if dramatically reducing external inputs could spark creativity and promote productivity. Full confession: I cheated more than once. However, it was still an illuminating experiment. Three observations stood out:

Silence Equals Discomfort

While making lunch, cleaning, or driving, I would normally listen to podcasts or my own music playlists. Once I eliminated these, I did not like the way I filled up the silence by singing the same lines from the same handful of songs over and over. My chattering mind is accustomed to filling in the blank spots. So, I tried listening to classical music to ease the transition. By the end of the week, I was better able to tolerate short quiet stretches, and I started generating ideas in these open windows.

I’ve come to think of this as giving my brain “me” time. The more silence I give myself, the better my mind gets at focusing my scattered mental energy. Like building muscles, developing a deep comfort with quiet time will take dedication and repetition.

Cable News Makes Me Anxious

One night I was meditating upstairs while my husband was watching TV downstairs. I could sense immediately when he switched to cable news by how angry the voices sounded. I know there’s a lot to be mad about in our world, but this shift in perspective helped me realize how unhealthy it is to pump so much tension into my brain every day.

With more time at home this year, my cable news routine had devolved to include watching my favorite news show on the iPad while preparing dinner, and then my husband and I might watch more news in the living room and again in the bedroom before going to sleep. Thanks to my media break, we rarely tune into cable news now, and I feel much calmer. We do listen to a brief news podcast while eating breakfast—just 15 minutes or less compared to the two hours I had been consuming daily.

Media is Like Pecan Pie

We bought a store-made pecan pie for Thanksgiving this year and salted caramel ice cream to go with it. It was delicious, yet I would never think to eat such a decadent desert regularly, let alone multiple times a day. Perhaps I should treat TV, podcasts, and social media more like pie and less like a staple in my diet.

Balance is everything. When I spend less time on screens, I read books, meditate, and exercise more. And I’ve come to the conclusion that social media works best for me as a tool rather than an endless conversation—I have to know why I’m on there.

But you know what? After cheating several nights in a row, I came to accept that my husband and I enjoy watching TV together in the evenings. And that’s ok. It’s also ok for me to skip a night now and then to write or do yoga.

Media and technology add value to our lives, if used mindfully. I’ve learned that occasional breaks shine light on my habits and alert me to how these inputs might be crowding out other positive experiences.